Palelo, keto, carnivore, Atkins, DASH diet. What have I missed? All diets on the web hallucinate foods you’re not supposed to eat if you wish to become fractionally less fat. Fuggin hell, I can do that too!

So today’s post is taken from the files of “4 foods you need to stop eating if you want to lose weight and become immortal.” Here goes.

1. Foods you don’t like

Ha, you thought I’m gonna kick the list off with potatoes. Nah. It’s foods you don’t like. It’s unbelievable how often people stop honoring their personal preferences once they decide to shed some pounds.

If you’re about to shriek what if all that I like are burgers and donuts, I’m not suggesting that that’s what you should be inhaling with every meal. That’s silly.

What I’m saying is most of your food choices should be compatible with your food preferences — if you like potatoes, don’t stop eating them just because some low-carb zealot said something about insulin.

If most of your diet consists of foods a particular diet imposed on you but you don’t like them, how long do you think you’ll be able to stick to that diet before you throw in the towel? It’s a ticking time bomb.

2. Foods you are allergic to

If you think folding a fitted sheet is bad, try getting anaphylaxis. It’s the death of fun. So if you have a specific food intolerance or allergy, don’t eat these foods.

3. Foods that give you runaway cravings

We all have foods that we need to steer clear of because we know that once we start eating them, they will death murder the shit us.

If it’s hard to eat a reasonable portion of these trigger foods, then don’t eat them [duh]. You shouldn’t have them in your house in the first place.

So don’t eat foods that usually lead to awakening the bingeing beast inside you.

4. Foods you cannot afford

Nutritious and healthy food doesn’t need to be expensive. You don’t need to buy organic foods which some money-grubbing wankers on Instagram said is better than conventional foods.

Most studies, including several systematic reviews (study, study, study) have shown no significant nutrient differences between organic and conventional foods such as canned, frozen, or packaged foods.

Don’t waste your money on supplements too. The number of benefits most supplements provide = the square root of ass. Use certain supplements only if your goal is to improve exercise performance or prevent diagnosed nutrient deficiency.

On a more serious note…

Vegans will tell you to stop eating foods that come from animals. Keto lovers will say carbs are Satan’s incarnation on earth. Paleo people will suggest getting a time machine and eating paleo foods. Yadda yadda yadda.

After you go through all the major diets and lists of foods you’re allowed to eat, you understand that the only thing you’re allowed to eat is a bag of diarrhea. Protein, carbs, and fat… all gonna kill ya. There’s so much food anxiety in people.

A healthy diet is not a list of foods you can and cannot eat. A healthy diet comes down to the totality of all the foods you eat rather than foods in isolation and it suits your personal preferences, tolerances, goals, and ideologies.

This is why you should issue a giant fuck you to all those diets and posts that are all about foods you need to stop eating ASAP. Approach your diet with an inclusive rather than an exclusive mindset.

If you want to bypass all of the nonsensical weight loss information and avoid common beginner mistakes, apply for the 1:1 Coaching Program where my goal is to be at your side the entire way, helping you to avoid scams and pitfalls that most people fall into. Cheers. Egis

Originally published by me on Medium on March 31, 2023

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Misty Pelhank

    Love it you are so funny and very informative too

  2. Egis R.

    Thank you, Misty.

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