Losing weight is not an easy ride. It’s a long, boring, and repetitive process. And for many people, things rapidly go to excrement simply because they do things that they shouldn’t do. So let me teach you 7 diet design dos and don’ts.
1. Keep it simple
DON’T jump on “magic” diet regimens or a diet that asks you to measure ketone levels by pissing on a stick. Most diets are just too complicated and based on fear-mongering — inflammation, carbohydrates, gluten, and the godfuggingdamn insulin. As James Fell wrote in his book,
“I often wonder how people come up with their hyper-convoluted diet plans based on … God knows what. Was the guy who wrote about choosing foods based on your blood type suffering from a rectal-cranial inversion? Did he have a look around up there, then pull that diet out of his ass?”
DO focus on the basic shit you know you need to do but you’re not doing it cos, you know, there are flashier diets such as low glycemic index dumbfuggery. Eat more nutritious foods such as veggies, fruit, and lean protein, establish a consistent day-to-day meal pattern, adjust portion sizes based on your results, etc. You don’t get to play with silly detox diets and cleanses if you don’t nail the big rocks of nutrition first.
2. Meet your protein target
DON’T ignore protein. It won’t damage your kidneys (unless you have pre-existing kidney disease) or make you bulky. If any of your friends tell you otherwise, tell them to STFU. Just, you know, more eloquently.
DO eat protein at most, if not all, meals because it’s the only macronutrient that can help you build or preserve muscle mass when dieting. And as you know from my previous posts, or at least I hope you do, losing muscle mass when dieting is an invitation to fat overshoot.
3. Keep in carbohydrates
DON’T eliminate carbs because they “cause fat gain” or “prevent fat loss.” If you follow anyone on IG who tells you otherwise, unfollow them immediately. But before unfollowing, ask them why literally every study with matched calorie intake between the low-carb and low-fat conditions has shown no difference in fat loss. You can expect a stream of incoherent gibberish.
DO honor your personal preference. The simple truth is that the best carb and fat distribution pattern is whatever helps you stay more consistent with your diet. Not to mention that if you want to have better gym performance, get stronger, and build muscle, carbs are incredibly helpful.
4. Have a balance
DON’T resort to drastic extremes. No bread, no added sugars, no carbs. That sorta nonsense. Silly and unsustainable. Sohee Carpenter nailed it with this one:
“The norm for many yo-yo dieters is to be in one of two camps at any given time: They’re either downing kale smoothies, crying over sad salads, and choking on dry chicken breasts, or they’re inhaling entire pizzas, going on nightly frozen yogurt expeditions, and shoveling cookies into their faces as fast as possible.”
DO eat the foods you like. There’s a reason why I never tell my clients exactly what to eat. It’s their choice. I also tell my clients that they can eat anything they want. They just can’t eat as much of it as they want.
The best, most-expensive diet plan in the world won’t work if it doesn’t consist of foods you like. If you’re like oh you know Egis all that I like is fast food so what now, well, now you need to eat more minimally processed foods.
Remember, the best diet for you is the one that allows you to keep deprivation at bay and so you need to embrace moderation and balance. Flexible dieting and the 80/20 rule give you that balance. It teaches you that lettuce and lemon water are not your only options.
5. Stay hydrated
DON’T rely on liquid calories. Liquid calories — coffee drinks, soda drinks, alcohol — should be minimized because drinking calories is silly. You probably don’t have the “calorie budget” for that.
DO drink water because it’s one of the easiest ways to manage hunger when dieting. I also don’t discourage diet soda consumption. Artificial sweeteners are fine unless you’re a lab rat pumped with unrealistic doses for a real-world setting.
Although, diet soda can still death murder the shit your teeth if consumed in large amounts. So just drink water most of the time.
6. Understand energy balance
DON’T believe that the calories in – calories out (CICO) aka energy balance equation is not what determines weight loss just because some nephrologist wrote it in his moronic book “obesity code.” Anyone who denies CICO for weight loss should get told off.
DO eat in a calorie deficit and you’ll lose weight. It’s the physical law of the universe. Understanding how energy balance works is critical to losing weight. But I’m tired of talking about calorie fugging deficit all the time. So. Let’s move on to the last point.
7. Focus on consistency, not perfection
DON’T program hop. Stop hopping from one diet to another. Usually, people can’t stay consistent because they put themselves through diets that are all about cutting things out of their life — can’t eat carbs cuz insulin, can’t eat protein cuz kidneys, and can’t eat fat cuz fat makes you fat [duh]. Starvation seems to be the only option.
DO find a way to eat nutritious foods with the occasional treat that you really enjoy because this allows you to keep deprivation to a minimum. Consistency comes from flexibility, not rigidity. So if you want to lose weight, you need to be consistent. Not perfect. As Jordan Syatt once said,
“Consistently good is infinitely better than inconsistently perfect.”
The moral of the post: Stop trying to cut corners by focusing on stupid shit that doesn’t make a big difference.
And if you want to bypass all of the nonsensical weight loss information and avoid common beginner mistakes, apply for the 1:1 Coaching Program where my goal is to be at your side the entire way, helping you to avoid scams and pitfalls that most people fall into.
Originally published by me on Medium on August 5, 2023